During the first few months after my husband passed, I remember looking at the calendar and thinking, "Wow! It's already been 4 months? It feels like it was just last week." However, it has not stayed that way. Time seems to be interminable since October. Lately, I look at the calendar and think, "It's only been a little over 7 months? It feels like eternity!" When you're missing your loved one, 7 months is eternity....months filled with lonely days and sleepless nights.
No one can know the depth or magnitude of this pain unless you've gone through it yourself...it's a pain that's difficult to describe or put into words. Trying to celebrate holidays and birthdays makes it even more painful. Still, I do not want our first Christmas without him to be completely miserable so we're working on making new memories....putting puzzles together, driving around looking at Christmas displays, and jamming to "It's Called Christmas" by Go Fish (which my son made me repeat over and over and over again) creating moments to laugh and smile again....memories I wouldn't trade.