BROKEN HEART

     Well, this emotional roller coaster has thrown me for another loop showing me it's not about to let me off yet.  I thought once the 1 year anniversary was past, my grieving would lessen.  On the contrary, the tears have been flowing for the past two days.  Yesterday, it was difficult to quit crying.  I would get my emotions under control only to find myself bent over weeping profusely once again.  

      I managed to put on my 'happy face' last night while we attended a dinner honoring my daughter and her friend on their graduation and then once again for a meeting at the church.   Being busy was a helpful distraction, and we had great hosts who kept us rolling with laughter (much needed laughter!).  But once again today I find myself battling the tears.

     I am thankful that most days are good and the tears are becoming less frequent.  I guess I wasn't expecting grief to hit me with this much intensity again, but as I've often told others, "how can you get over 19 years of someone being such a vital part of your life in such a short span of time?"  You just can't!  Part of my heart is missing and it hurts!  Deeply!

     God has promised He will heal the broken hearts and bind up our wounds, but as with all wounds, it's a painful procedure and healing takes time. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and change what happened that day, but since I can't I'm learning to pray this prayer: 

GOD, GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE