Another page has turned and a new chapter has begun in my life. I am now a mother-in-law! (I have been a step-mother-in-law for several years but it's quite a different feeling when it's my little girl getting married.) I'm not old enough for this and neither is she!!! I keep telling myself that, but obviously I am and she is as well. My oldest daughter has been married for 4 months now. The first 2 months were a painful adjustment for me. It sent me back into another cycle of grief as I adjusted to another loss. Yes, I know I didn't lose a daughter but gained a son...still, it was a painful adjustment to no longer have her living in the same house or even the same town. Thankfully, she is not too far away and is married to a wonderful young man. It gives this momma's heart peace and comfort knowing he dotes on her and so does his family.
My daughter was such a beautiful bride! I had been so busy with all the wedding prep that I was able to bury the pain of her father not being there to walk her down the aisle until we were ready to begin the ceremony. All of a sudden, every emotion rushed in on me as I looked at her standing there. I have never cried at a wedding before, but I cried at this one. Memories of the day I married Mike flooded back into my mind as I watched my dad walk his granddaughter down the aisle. I never would have thought my husband would not be there 20 years later to walk his little girl down the aisle. I tried (unsuccessfully at times) to hold back the tears and focus on the joy I saw radiating from my daughter's face. I was so thankful my dad was there to stand in her dad's place.
The next page in my life was turned not long after that when the lady I was a caregiver to suffered another stroke and had to be placed in a nursing home. It was not easy seeing her in that condition, and it also left me without a job. During this time of transition, God provided part time jobs to carry me through until I was able to find a full time job.
In the meantime, I was able to take my two youngest on our first official vacation. I'll admit it was scary to plan a trip without my husband but I was determined to go. I knew we needed it...or at least I did....so, off to Houston we went. We found a nice hotel in a perfect location between Houston and Galveston allowing us to plan trips without much travel in either direction. I think my favorite part was driving down around the Gulf (I love the palm trees and ocean!). My only regret is that we did not take the Ferry to see the dolphins but my kids were not feeling well that day so a water ride could have made matters worse (you know, the 'feed the fish' type of worse). Ugh! Anyway....
God's timing is perfect! It wasn't many days after we arrived back from vacation that I was able to find full-time employment. It hasn't been easy to work those long hours each day as a single parent but we're adjusting. I am truly thankful for my job!
I've dealt with so many emotional ups and downs, highs and lows over the past couple months...the latest being another anniversary without my husband. God sent comforting words that I needed to hear on what would have been our 21st Anniversary. "A man of God in the will of God is immortal until his work on earth is done." It was his time to go or God wouldn't have taken him. We miss their dad more than words can express, but I can see healing is beginning to take place within us.
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